CCST3K-Season 3 Finale-#40-Nadesico: A New Ally

*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*

(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)

(The future isn't what it used to be....)

"CARD CAPTOR SCIENCE THEATER 3000" (SEASON FOUR FINALE)

EPISODE 40: NADESICO: A NEW ALLY

(A Martian Successor Nadesico MSTing)

MSTed From the Desk of CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.

Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment

purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or

trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

“Card Captor Sakura” is a trademark of CLAMP and those who distribute it.

“Martian Successor Nadesico” is the property of Kia Asamiya and the distributors of his work

“Nadesico: A New Ally” is the property of Genro and he’s welcome to it.

I do not intend to offend his by making fun of him work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does.

Think of this as another form of C&C. ;)

(Cue "Card Captor Science Theater 3000 Love Theme" in 5....4....3....)

It's the not-too-distant future,

Last Sunday BC

There was this girl named Sakura

Quite different from you or me

She captured Clow Cards with her friends

All seen through Tomoyo’s camera lens

They tried to save the human race,

But Eriol lost his patience

So he shot them into space!!!!

Sakura: (Hoeeee……)

Syaoran and Tomoyo: (Now what?)

We'll send them crappy fanfics

The worst we can find  (lalala)

They'll have to sit and read them all

And we'll monitor their minds  (lalala)

Now keep in mind they can't control

When the fanfics begin or end  (lalala)

Because, let’s face it, after all

Eriol’s not really their friend;

CARD CAPTOR ROLL CALL:

Meiling:

'HI-KEEBA!!’

Tomoyo:

'Oh-hohohohohohoho!!!'

Syaoran:

'I do NOT blush! (blushes)'

KEROOOOOOO!!!

'I am the guardian of the hell!!'

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe

And other science facts  (lalala)

Then repeat to yourself

*It's just a MiST*

You should really just relax

Sakura: (Did I mention Aeris is here?)

Aeris: (What’s Yuna got that I haven’t?)

For Card Captor Science Theater 3000!!!

BRIDGE OF THE NERGAL ND-001 NADESICO

17:25 Hours

Sakura Kinomoto stood behind the Captain’s controls, she pause to adjust the small black and white captain’s hat a top her head. She wasn’t sure this Yurika outfit was really her style, but she set it aside. Down on the main level, Aeris, dressed as Minato Haruka, was in the left seat. Meiling, dressed as Ruri Hoshino was at the center console sporting Ruri’s usual bland expression. And on the far right was Tomoyo wearing Megumi Reinerd’s uniform and headset.

Sakura’s hands tensed. The enemy was out there. They could attack at any time and she had to be prepared for—

“Akito-kun!” Sakura turned quickly and glomped onto Syaoran who had just entered the bridge dressed in Akito Tenkawa’s yellow and black uniform.

“Ack!” Syaoran struggled to maintain his balance. “Uh… Yurika? What is it you needed me for?” he said trying to repress his blushing.

“Oh, yes! Of course!” said Sakura, bubbling over with delight. “Well, as you know we’re on full alert right now and I thought it would be best to have one of the pilots up here to help out.”

Syaoran gave her a puzzled look. “But, why not get Ryoko or somebody?”

“No! No! No!” she said gripping his arm tightly. “It would be best if it’s you!”

“Bakas…” Meiling muttered under her breath.

Tomoyo tried to give a jealous glare but instead ended up trying to repress a giggle.

“Now then…” Sakura continued, pressing a finger to her cheek. “Where should you sit? I know. You can sit it in my seat and I can sit in your lap!”

“Nani?!” Syaoran replied, blushing furiously.

Just then the intercom broke in. “Sorry to interrupt,” said Kero. “But the three stooges are calling.”

Sakura sighed. “Great. Just when it was getting interesting.” Sakura and the others headed to the bridge.

DEEP 13

Dr. Eriol Hiiragazawa was not in a good mood. His assistants, TV’s Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun were keeping a fair distance from him as he scowled into the monitor. “Well…” he said. “It seems that we’ve run into a little problem regarding your guest up there.”

“Who me?” asked Aeris.

Eriol ignored her. “It seems that Square needs her back in case they need her for another Kingdom Hearts game. So I’m going to be sending up an escape pod to take her back down to Earth after today’s experiment.”

“Wait! I can’t leave with the others stuck up here!” Aeris protested.

“Fat chance, flower girl,” Eriol countered. “I’m not letting all my guinea pigs go just because some game company wants its character back. So say your stupid good-byes and prepare for pain. Ruby Moon! What’s on the menu today?”

“Well, seeing as they were so enthused with Nadesico today, I got this little item,” said Ruby Moon picking up a folder. “It’s short but it’s got a very annoying original character.”

“Excellent…” said Eriol examining the folder with a smirk. “Well, kiddies, it’s time for ‘Nadesico: A New Ally’. Choke on it, if you please. Put them through the wringer, Ruby Moon.”

“Deposited and flushed,” Ruby Moon replied as she fed the fanfic into the machine.

**
THE SATELLITE OF LOVE

“Well, looks like you’re going home, Aeris,” said Tomoyo.

“Yeah, I guess but…” Aeris said, sounding a little stunned, but she didn’t get a chance to continue.

Suddenly, alarms and sirens rang out.

“OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!” Sakura cried out.

(Door 6: It’s a giant Clow card. Sakura changes it into a Sakura card and it disappears.)

(Door 5: It’s a labyrinth. You smash through it with Kaho’s bell.)

(Door 4: It’s a waterfall. You freeze it and smash through.)

(Door 3: It’s a giant box of living plushies. It tips over and the plushies run off giggling.)

(Door 2: It’s a Venetian blind. You spend five minutes trying to get it to roll up before cutting through it with scissors.)

(Door 1: It’s made of concrete. The plushies come back with construction equipment and reduce it to dust.)

(Door .7: The camera pans downward to a teleporter pad. You step onto it and are suddenly surrounded by bright light.)

Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Aeris are teleported directly into their seats while Kero-Chan floats overhead.

>Nadesico: A New Ally

Kero: …McBeal.

Aeris: Dear God! NOO!!

>Akito Tenkawa, a 20 year old boy with brown spiky hair, was sitting in his room watching his
>favorite show Gekiganger, like he always was.

Sakura: It was a typical day on the Nadesico. Perfectly normal as a day on the Nadesico can be.

>Though his friends didn’t agree with him, except his late
>friend Gai, he liked the old 80’s robot show. Then, an announcement come on over the intercom.

Syaoran:<intercom> We have wounded in the compound!

Tomoyo:<intercom> Will the Captain’s “cuddly love bunny” please report to the Captain’s quarters and bring the whipped cream.

Kero:<Akito> What? Again?

>“We will soon be docking with the UEAF (United Earth Allied Forces) space station to pick up
>supplies and a new pilot.”

Aeris: Uh-oh… I smell Mary Sue.

Sakura: Is that what that is? I thought we just hadn’t emptied the garbage cans in the theater recently.

>“A new pilot,” he though to himself, “Maybe we can finally have someone sane on this ship.”

Tomoyo: Funny, I thought that was what Ruri was for.

>The ship he was referring to was the battleship Nadesico, the key weapon in the battle with the Jovians.

Syaoran: No? Really?

Kero: Genro: Kung-fu Ninja Master of the Obvious!

>The beings from Jupiter who are adversely attacking the Earth, Moon, and Mars colonies. With the Mars
>colony defeated, all that is left is the Earth.

Sakura: Gee… Really? I wish they had mentioned that in the show. Oh, wait. They did. In the *first* *episode*!

>“Akiiiiito!” came a sickly cute voice from the other side of the door.

Tomoyo:<Yurika> STEEEELLLLLAAAAAAA!!

>Akito decided the best thing to do right now was to hide.

Kero: Because when a blue-haired anime babe wants to glomp you, the first thing you should do is hide.

Aeris: Akito can be such a dork.

>As the door opened a blue-haired woman walked through. She was Yurika Misumaru, captain of the
>Nadesico. Her father was an admiral, and she had been chosen for this job because she had never been
>defeated in the test simulations.

All: NO?! REALLY?!

>“Akito, where are you?” she said and looked around the room trying to find him.
>“I know you’re in here. You have to come out and report to the bridge, we have a new pilot and I
>thought you would like to meet her.”

Syaoran: Another woman pilot?

Kero: Hell, wait around long enough and she’ll probably fall through Akito’s ceiling or something.

>After hearing this he slowly emerged from his hiding spot.
>“An oh yeah, she personally asked to see you,” she said

Tomoyo:<Yurika> This made me wonder if she was a rival for your affections, so I had her killed.

>“To see me? Yurika are you sure that is what she said?” he wondered
>“Yes, she specifically asked if Akito Tenkawa worked on board,” she said

Aeris: Boy… Wonder how many ships she tried before she got to the Nadesico.

Sakura: I guess checking the crew roster was just too complicated for her.

>Now interested he followed Yurika to the bridge.
>As he walked onto the main bridge he saw all the familiar faces on the ship. Ruri Hoshino, the ships
>computer specialist, a young girl who was part of an experiment. Megumi, the communication officer,
>who was a voice actor for TV before this. Minato, the helmswoman and former actress, and many other
>people who he knew.

Syaoran: Working on the same ship with them will do that.

Kero: INTENSE… REDUNDANCY… ACTION!!

>“An Aestavalis is currently docking with the Nadesico, and the pilot will be on the bridge
>shortly,” said an announcement over the intercommon.

Tomoyo:<Yurika> Hey! I’m the captain! I don’t have to listen to common inters!

>An Aestavalis or Aestie is a robot of about 30 ft., and are piloted by the pilots on the ship. The pilot can
>control full range of motion while inside, making the Aesties key elements in the fight with the Jovians.
>The Aestavalis itself comes in many varieties, and most are equipped with a rifle.

Sakura: Seriously. Is this a fanfic or a summary of the series? Get on with it!

>Akito shifted his weight nervously wondering exactly how this person knew him. He was mostly worried
>since it was a girl, since from what he had learned on the Nadesico, girls were trouble.

Syaoran: Yeah. They walk in on you in the shower, fall on you from the ceiling, cling to you when the ship shakes. Oh, wait. That only happens to Akito.

Aeris: But, who’d want that?

Kero: I would!

>All the members of the crew stood impatiently watching the elevator, waiting for the new pilot to arrive.
>The elevator finally arrived and the doors opened to reveal a young girl of about 20 years of age.

Tomoyo: Wouldn’t that make her a young woman?

>She stepped out of the elevator, and her short blonde hair kept in place, even with the gust of air that
>erupted out from the pressurized elevator.

Aeris: Damn lazy animators and their short cuts.

>Mr. Holy, a huge block of a man with a rigid face, and Mr. Prospector, a slim man who was at essence a
>bean counter, walked up behind her. Mr. Holy overshadowed both of them.

Syaoran:<Mr. Holy> I’m HUGE!

Sakura: Who’s Mr. Holy? Does he have some connection to Mr. *Hory*?

>“Everyone, I would like you to meet our new pilot, Yui Tenkawa,” said Mr. Prospector.
>Everyone gasped at the mention of her last name. Akito was the first to speak up.

Aeris: Oh hell…

Sakura: CONTINUITY BREACH DEAD AHEAD! ALL HANDS BRACE FOR IMPACT!

>“How can your last name be Tenkawa!?” he said and ran up to her.
>Giving him a quick look over she grinned.

Tomoyo:<Yui> Hey, baby. What’s your sign?

Kero: BANG! BANG!

Tomoyo:<Yui> URK! <Thunk!>

Sakura:<Yurika> Uhhh… My finger slipped.

Aeris:<Megumi> Mine too.

>“So you’re Akito Tenkawa, I’m you half sister Yui,” she said
>“Half-sister?” he asked

Kero: Yui? Am I the only one getting an image of Rei Ayanami right now?

Syaoran: Akito! That’s not your sister! It’s a clone of your Mom!

>“Yes, you did know that our father was married twice right?” she asked
>“No, I don’t have a very good memory of my parents, ever since they died during the attack by
>the Jovians,” he said

Sakura: Funny. I remember them dying much earlier than that.

>She patted him on the shoulder.
>“Hey cheer up, your alive, your here, be happy,” she spurted

Kero:<Batteau> You’re treated like other humans, so quit with the angst.

Aeris:<Yui> And you’re surrounded by babes in form fitting uniforms!

>Yui then ran past him and started talking to some of the other pilots.

Sakura: Gee… For someone who was so anxious to see him, she seems pretty blasé.

>Meanwhile Akito stood stunned at the sudden reunion with the sister he never knew he had. Suddenly the
>announcer came on.

Syaoran:<announcer> WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? DON’T MISS THE NEXT EPISODE OF…

Tomoyo:<Yurika> Uh… We just started.

Syaoran:<announcer> Sorry. My bad.

>“A Chulip has been sighted entering earth’s atmosphere, all Aestavalis pilots please report to the
>hanger to intercept.”

Kero: The Chulip is in the hanger?

>Akatsuki, a young man with long grayish-brown hair and a hot shot attitude, spoke up.
>“Well it looks like we won’t get a chance to talk, but what better way to see what the new girl’s
>got,” he said

Sakura: Probably more than all the other pilots put together, I’m guessing.

>All the pilots shuffled into the elevator, while everyone else took their stations on the bridge. Yurika stood
>ready at the captain’s seat, prepared to engage the enemy.

Tomoyo:<Ruri> I don’t think Mr. Tenkawa is the enemy.

Sakura:<Yurika> Yes! He is! I’ll be sure to write from the honeymoon suite. Byeeee!

>“Ready the gravity blast cannon,” said Yurkia with a demanding voice.
>“Aye, Aye captain,” replied Minato

Sakura:<Yurika> She’s not the captain! I am!

Aeris: Who the hell is “Yurkia” anyway?

Kero: Yurika’s dyslexic sister?

>Meanwhile
>“What is a gravity blast cannon?” asked Yui, as they descended in the elevator.

Tomoyo: Oh, hell…

Sakura: ALL HANDS! BRACE FOR BLATANT EXPOSITION!

>Suddenly a blonde-haired woman, in about her 30’s appeared on a screen in the elevator.
>“Hello, I’m Inez Fresnjue, about the gravity blast cannon. The Nadesico is equipped with 2
>offensive weapons, the gravity blast cannon, a beam that fires from the front of the ship. And the
>Aestavalis robots, that you and the others pilot. For defensive tactics we have our distortion field, the
>barrier that surrounds the Nadesico,” she said

Aeris:<shaking her head> Man… This is getting ridiculous.

>Ms. Fresnjue is also known as Ms. Information, since she knows most of the science behind the Nadesico.

Sakura:<Inez> We’re walking… We’re walking…

>“Yeah....sure,” Yui replied
>Then the brown-haired girl with glasses across from Yui spoke up.
>“I forgot to introduce myself, I’m Hikaru Amono, that’s Ryoko,” she said and pointed to a girl
>Yui’s age standing next to her with short green hair.
>“That’s Izumi,” she said again pointing to a girl with a sullen look, and her dark blue hair
>covered half of her face.

Tomoyo: I guess when she was talking to them earlier they didn’t bother to give their names.

>“And Akito I guess you already know, and oh yeah that’s,-”
>“Akatsuki, Nagare Akatsuki,” he interrupted and then proceeded to take Yui’s hand.

Syaoran:<Akatsuki> I learned that from Ryoko.

Aeris:<Ryoko> No. You didn’t.

Syaoran:<Akatsuki> No. Not you. A different Ryoko.

Sakura:<Hikaru> There are other Ryokos?

Syaoran:<Akatsuki> Yes.

Aeris:<Ryoko> Like hell! I’m one of a kind!

>“And let me say it will be a pleasure to work with such a beautiful woman such as yourself,” he
>said with a suave voice.

Kero:<Barry White voice> Anything… for a lady…

Tomoyo: Nagare Akatsuki *IS* Touga Kiryuu!

>Before she could react, Akito stepped in between them.
>“Could we please save this for later,” he said

Syaoran:<Alex Trebek> You must answer in the form of a question.

>The elevator then hit the correct floor and the doors opened revealing the hangar bay filled with the ship’s
>Aestavalis and mechanics running around frantically.
>Yui dashed out of the elevator and ran to a very strange looking Aestavalis. The others walked up behind
>her and started with wide eyes.
>“Its Pink,” spurted Akito

Tomoyo:<Madison Taylor> It’s not pink, it’s cyber-rose! It’s high tech and it’s in all the magazines!

Sakura: Please stop that.

>“You got a problem with pink?” she countered back.
>“No, its just-”
>“Its just what? I happen to like this color, and if you don’t like it, fine,” she interrupted.

Kero: Uh… Guys? Enemy attack? Death, destruction… Any of this ring a bell?

>“Uh.....ok,” he blinked
>After that.

Syaoran:<Gary Shandling> Okay. Five minutes just passed.

>“All pilots please perform you final safety check list,” said Megumi from the small screen that
>could be seen from inside the cockpit in the Aestavalis.
>All the pilots were in their pilot suits, and inside their Aesties. Ryoko in red, Izumi in blue, Hikaru in
>yellow, Akito in violet, Yui in pink, and Akatsuki in his specialized blue Aestavalis.

Aeris: Aestavalis. Taste the rainbow.

>“Um.....Akito?”
>Akito looked at the monitor to see a purple-haired girl with freckles on her face staring back at him. It
>was Megumi.
>“Don’t worry Akito, I’m using a private link so no one can hear us. I just wanted to tell you that I
>feel something odd about the new girl, and that I’m worried about you,” she said

Sakura:<Megumi> Mary Sue sense… Tingling!

>“Oh Megumi.....hold on a sec, I have a priority message coming in,” he said
>Another screen came on, it was Yurika.

Tomoyo: This is a twist. Usually a whole bunch of characters just barge in.

>“Akito? I have a bad feeling about that new girl and I just wanted to tell you-”
>“That you’re really worried about me right?” he interrupted with a bored sound to his voice.
>“Oh Akito, I’m so happy that you know how I feel!” she beamed.

Sakura:<Yurika> Aiya! Yurika so happy! Airen take Yurika on date now, yes?

>“Th-thats not what I meant!” he said with a panicky voice.

Kero: Then what did you mean?

>They were interrupted by the announcement of take-off.
>“All Aestavalis pilots please report to the launch bay.”
>All the pilots headed towards the gates inside their robots.

Aeris: INTENSE… WALKING… ACTION!!

>Akito looked over to Yui’s Aestie.
>“Pink, I don’t know if I can get used to that,” he said.

Syaoran:<Akito> I keep getting Utena flashbacks just looking at her.

>“I was playing with knives, and got pinked,” said Izumi, with her usual short, pointless,
>whimsical sentences. She then started laughing hysterically.

Kero: Izumi, whatever you’re on, stop.

Tomoyo: And if you’re not on anything, maybe you should be.

>They were in position to launch.
>“Its time to protect our blue mother earth,” said Akatsuki
>“Yeah, whatever,” said Akito
>“Lets kick some Jovian butt!” said Ryoko
>“And not get shot,” said Hikaru
>“Time to make the rent payment,” said Izumi.
>“This will be fun,” said Yui.

Syaoran: “Get on with it already!” said the readers.

>The Aestavalis then launched.
>“Now everyone stay in formation and don’t.....hey where do you think you’re going?” yelled
>Ryoko.

Sakura:<standing up> Uhh… I just needed to go to the bathroom?

Aeris:<Ryoko> Sit down! The fic isn’t done yet!

>Yui was racing ahead of the others.
>“Well you said you wanted to see me in action,” Yui spurted.

Kero:<Hikaru> Is that why you’re broadcasting porn over our communications?

Aeris:<Yui> I was young and needed the money.

>“She’s right,” said Akatsuki with a laugh.
>“Grrrr, just spread out then and take out the enemy,” grumbled Ryoko

Tomoyo: Yeah, Ryoko, way to keep those pilots in line!

>Yui blinked at the huge black peanut shaped object, with yellow bug-like ships coming out of it.
>“What are those?” she asked
>A small screen of Ms. Fresnjue appeared in her cockpit.
>“The large structure is known as a Chulip, it is a inter-dimensional transportation device which
>the Jovians use to transport weapons straight from Jupiter. The smaller bug machines are called Battas,
>small unmanned ships with destructive power,” she lectured once again.

Sakura: INTENSE… EXPOSITION… ACTION!!

Syaoran: Nice to see Yui is so well informed about the Jovian war.

>“Well whatever they are, their going down!” yelled Yui
>Back on the Bridge.
>“Captain, the Aestavalis have broken formation, and pilot Yui taken an offensive position,” said
>the small girl Ruri.

Tomoyo:<Ruri> Yui no baka.

>“I knew that girl was trouble,” said Yurika and Megumi in unison.
>“Well I don’t think its such a big deal, she’s just showing off a bit,” said Minato

Aeris: A Mary Sue showing off?! Whoa!

>A blue-haired boy of Akito’s age walked up behind Yurika.
>“Oh hi Jun,” said Yurika turning her head.
>“I think you may be right in you assumptions Yurika, her actions could endanger all the
>Aestavalis and their pilots,” said Jun

Kero: Yeah. God forbid Jun should ever disagree with Yurika on anything.

>Next to him Mr. Prospector was standing, holding a small calculation device.
>“The economic losses would be terrible in such a case,” he said while punching numbers into the
>machine.

Syaoran:<Prospector> Fujisawa Number PUUUUUNNNCH!!

>Admiral Munetake, a man with few values and a strange brown bowl haircut stood next to him.
>“Even if we must sacrifice our own pilots, we must destroy this menace as quickly as possible,”
>he said

Tomoyo: Somehow sacrificing your pilots to let the newbie show off doesn’t strike me as sound tactics.

>“Would you consider that cold-blooded or just cowardly,” said Megumi to Minato.
>“Ack!!” he said and fell over at the remark.
>“Well I guess we can only hope this girl is as good as she says she is,” said Yurika.

Sakura:<Yurika> And if she’s not, let her die.

>Back in the battle.
>Yui and the other pilots fired left and right trying to destroy as many battas as they could.
>“Tenkawa, you go after the Chulip, we’ll cover your back,” came Ryoko’s voice from a screen in
>their cockpits.

Kero: Uh-oh… Wacky misunderstanding, dead ahead.

>“Right,” said Yui and Akito in unison.
>“Huh?” questioned Akito
>“She was talking to me, I’ll go ahead, you stay here and cover me,” yelled Yui

Aeris:<Ryoko> Actually, I was talking to *him*, you ditz.

>“Don’t tell me what to do you dumb rookie,” countered Akito
>“Would you two stop bickering, and get going,” Akatsuki interrupted.

All: COMEDY!!

Tomoyo: I like this fic. It has the kind of humor that makes you want to put your eyes out.

>Seeing that Yui was already heading towards the Chulip, Akito stood back and covered her.
>“So how do I destroy this thing?” questioned Yui.
>“Well actually Akito’s the only one who’s come close to destroying a Chulip without the
>Nadesico,” said Izumi.
>“But there’s a first time for everything,” chimed Hikaru

Sakura: I’m getting the feeling that the other pilots are setting up Yui to get bumped off.

Syaoran: Well, that’s understandable.

>Before Yui could react, what appeared to be a tentacle shot out of the Chulip and headed towards Yui’s
>Aestavalis. She dodged as many times as she could until she was forced to pull back out of their range.
>“That was a nice try Yui, but I don’t think we can defeat it on our own,” said Hikaru.

Aeris:<Hikaru> “Nice try”…<snigger> Man, I can’t believe I kept a straight face when I said that.

>A screen with Ruri appeared in front of all the pilots.
>“Would all Aestavalis pilots please return to the Nadesico, so that we have a clear shot at the
>Chulip,” said Ruri.

Sakura:<Ruri> Except you, Yui, we’d like you to move right in front of the target, if you would.

>Yui smirked and turned back towards the Chulip.
>“I’ll show you all!” she yelled and started to charge.

Tomoyo: So she’s going single handed against a Chulip that’s about to be blasted by the Nadesico’s Gravity Cannon? She has the survival sense of a lemming, I see.

>That is until she was grabbed from behind.
>“Where do you think you’re going?” asked Akito.
>“I’m going to destroy that thing with or without you help, now let go!” she yelled.

All: LET HER GO! LET HER GO!

>“Yeah.....whatever,” Akito said with a bored tone, and started dragging her back to the Nadesico.
>“You really shouldn’t take such unnecessary risks,” droled Akito.

Kero: Uhhh… “Droled” is not a real word, author.

>“I’ll do what I want, when I want!” she yelled.

Syaoran: Boy, I bet Akito’s getting a new appreciation for spending time with Yurika now.

Sakura: Yui makes Chibi-Usa look well-adjusted.

>“You should really try to mellow out,” said Izumi bluntly.
>A screen appeared in front of Yui, on it was the Nadesico’s head mechanic. He was a in his mid 40’s with
>gray hair, his name was Seiya, and he seemed quite frantic.

Kero: Also known as “how he always is”.

>“What were you thinking, taking on a Chulip like that. To ruin a new model type Aestavalis for
>no good reason, is a sin!” he yelled

Aeris: Yup. The only problem with Yui blowing herself up would have been the waste of a perfectly good robot.

>She just stared and blinked at him in reply.
>After that.

Syaoran:<Gary Shandling> Okay. Five *more* minutes just passed.

>They docked with the Nadesico and it fired a full gravity blast, destroying the Chulip and all the Battas.
>All the pilots stood in a group talking about the battle.
>“Hmmm....your not bad kid,” said Akatsuki.

Sakura:<Yui> No. That’s not my kid.

Kero:<Hikaru> Hey… This not bad kid looks kinda like Captain Misumaru… but it has Akito’s eyes. Strange.

Syaoran:<Akito> Uhh… Yeah. Strange, huh?

>“Well I’m glad you realize my obvious talent,” Yui replied.

Aeris:<Yui> Bask in my glory, mortals!

Sakura: Then she was vaporized by a phaser blast.

Tomoyo:<Marrissa Picard> Perfection is my turf, bitch!

>“But try to keep the grand standing to a minimum,” snapped Ryoko.
>“Hmph,” replied Yui.
>Yui then stomped off to another part of the ship. Akito watched her go, kind feeling bad.

Syaoran: …while prose falling apart.

>Later.

Kero:<Gary Shandling> And *still* five more minutes passed.

>Akito, who even though he was a pilot though wanted to be a cook. Was in the ship’s cafeteria cooking
>something. A brown-haired woman in a chef’s outfit walked up to him.
>Noticing her.

Sakura: Narration. Talking like. Shatner.

>“Oh, hello Ms. Howmei,” Akito said.
>She looked at what he was making.
>“My, you’re getting better Tenkawa,” she said.
>“Thank you Ma’am,” replied Akito.

Tomoyo: Yeah. You can always tell the quality of what someone is cooking by looking at it.

Aeris:<Howmei> By the way, how come you seem to smell like the Captain’s perfume and sweat all the time?

Kero:<Akito> Ummm…

Sakura: Guys…

>“Keep practicing,” she said and walked away.
>He started to taste what he was making when he was pushed from behind, spitting it out.
>“Why’d you do that for!?” he scowled, wiping his mouth.
>“To annoy you,” was the reply that Yui gave.

Syaoran: You know, after seeing Yui in action, I miss Star Kinomoto.

>In all the craziness lately he had forgotten to talk to Yui, and ask her some questions.

Kero:<Akito> Where were you on the night of the 25^th?! Who can verify that?! ANSWER ME!!

Sakura:<Yui> You want answers?

Kero<Akito> I want the TRUTH!

Sakura:<Yui> YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

>“Yui?” he started.
>“Akiiiito!” came Yuika’s voice who walked up next to them.
>She took a quick glance at Yui and then turned back to Akito.

Tomoyo: I’d rather look at Akito instead of Yui too.

Kero: I’d rather look at Yurika. Especially in that bikini.

Sakura: Kero…

>“I wanted to ask you a favor,” she said sweetly.
>“Now way,” he replied and turned back to his cooking.

Syaoran: Uhhh… Huh?

Aeris: Now why? No way? I dunno.

>“But why not?” she asked.
>“Because right now I have to talk to Yui, and I want to do it before we’re called for duty ok,” he
>replied.

Sakura: Gee… It’s too bad Yurika doesn’t *outrank* Akito or she could just *order* him to do what she wants.

>Yui blinked watching the exchange.
>Akito then proceeded to grab Yui’s hand and drag her off, so he would have a chance to talk to her.

Tomoyo: Calgon! Take me away!

>Yurika stood there fuming.
>“Fine, go then, have fun with you sister.!” she yelled, then thought to herself.
>“Sister? Why am I so worried than?”

Kero: That’s what I was wondering.

>“Idiots,” said Ruri from somewhere in the ship.

Syaoran: Damn… Beat me to it.

>Yurika walked down a hallway slightly depressed when she ran into Megumi.
>“Oh Yurika, do you know where Akito is? I need to talk to him,” she asked.

Tomoyo: Geez… He’s just the cook. What’s the deal?

Sakura: He’s like Steven Seagal in “Under Fire” only with actual talent.

>“I think he went to his room to talk to Yui,” she replied.
>“And you just let them go!” she yelled.

Aeris: Yurika is calm and Megumi is freaking out. Well, this is a twist.

Tomoyo:<Ruri> Bakas…

>“I don’t know why you or I should be worried, I mean she is his sister,” she said regaining her
>usual bubbliness.

Kero: Ah! Back to the Yurika we all know and love.

>“But....still I....,” Megumi replied still with a worried tone.
>“But nothing, we have nothing to fear, I won’t let his sister get in my way,” she said and walked
>off back to the bridge.

Syaoran: The hell? Did Yurika and Megumi switch personalities or something?

Sakura:<Jamie Lee Curtis> You’re in my body and I’m in your body?

>Megumi blinked and headed towards Akito’s room to check on him.
>Meanwhile in Akito’s room.

Kero:<dramatic> STATELY TENKAWA MANOR…

>“What is all this junk?” Yui exclaimed, as she looked at his room filled with Gekinganger items.
>“Junk?!” Akito replied.
>“These are all my Gekiganger toys and tapes,” he stated.

Aeris: Actually, they were Gai’s, but he’s not going to need them anymore.

>“Gekiganger?” she wondered.
>“Isn’t that some anime show that was on when we were kids?” she asked.

Tomoyo: Why do we need to be told that Yui is talking twice?

Kero: Yui’s a master of double-speak, I guess.

>“Yeah, so what?” he said
>“You mean you still like it after all this time! How old are you?” she said laughing.

Syaoran:<intercom> Miss Tenkawa, you’re Hello Kitty collection just arrived.

Tomoyo:<Yui> Never mind…

>“Hmph, I don’t care what you say, besides I wanted to ask you something,” he said.
>“About you parents right?” she said suddenly becoming serious.

Sakura: Whoa! Akito is a parent?!

Tomoyo:<Ruri> We’ve found out why you’ve been throwing up in the morning, Captain.

Aeris:<Minato> And I just thought she was putting on weight.

>“Yes, I want to know why they were killed?” he asked.

Syaoran: Well, do you or don’t you? You tell us.

>“Well I’m sorry to say I don’t know. I never saw my father since he left us,” she said solemnly.
>“I see,” he replied.
>She suddenly grabbed him and hugged him.

Kero: This had better not be what I think it is.

>“Hey what do you-” he exclaimed.
>“Don’t worry, you should try to think happy thoughts now,” she said.

Aeris: Don’t Worry! Be Happy!

Kero: Oh, hell, it is.

Tomoyo: Yui Tenkawa *IS* Kozue Kaoru!

>At that moment Megumi decided to intrude on the two.
>“Um Akito the door was open and I.....What are you doing!” she yelled and ran in between them.

Syaoran:<Alex Trebek> Questions, people! Questions!

>“I knew this girl was trouble, Akito how could you?” she yelled.

Sakura: Uhh… Megumi? She’s his *sister*!

>He jumped up with a panicked look on his face.
>“This is....its not what is looks like....we were just talking.....and....,” he said stumbling over the
>words.

Tomoyo: Wow. This is comedy on the level of Three’s Company.

>“And what?” she interrupted
>Yui glomped onto Akito.
>“Oh darling, why do you wish to hide our relationship?” Yui said smirking.

All: Eeeeeewwwww…

>“Our what?!” Akito yelled, while Megumi turned bright red with anger.

Aeris:<Megumi> Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t *like* me when I’m angry.

>Later after much explanations.

Syaoran:<Gary Shandling> Okay. Some explanations just passed.

>“Well you shouldn’t of tried to fool me ya know,” said Megumi.
>They were sitting on the floor, when Akito jumped up and headed out of the room, not wanting to deal
>with this anymore.”

Kero:<Cartman> Screw you! I’m going home!

>Meanwhile in Ryoko’s and the others room.
>“Hey Ryoko, what do you think of the new girl?” asked Hikaru.
>“I don’t know...there is just something I don’t like about her,” replied Ryoko.

Sakura, Tomoyo, Syaoran:<Yurika, Megumi, Akito> Join the club!

>“Could it be that she’s trying to steal your boyfriend away from you,” said Izumi snickering.
>“Oh would you just shut up,” she said fuming.

Aeris, Kero:<Hikaru and Izumi, chanting> Tenkawa! Tenkawa! Tenkawa!

Sakura:<Ryoko> Oh, be quiet…

>“Where is she anyway?” asked Ryoko.
>“Last I saw of her, she was to the port,” answered Hikaru.
>“Stewed with port,” snickered Izumi, as she started laughing and banging on a wall.

Kero:<Mitchell> Port? You’ve got port here?

>“Oh god,” said Hikaru and Ryoko in unison.
>Back on the bridge.

Syaoran:<Picard> Status, Number One.

>“Yurika, where have you been, you’re supposed to stay on the bridge at all times,” said Jun, as
>Yurika walked through the door.

Aeris:<Jun> I need you to tell me what to do! I have no will of my own!

>“Sorry, I was umm busy,” replied Yurika.
>“Busy doing what, I won’t ask,” said Ruri.

Tomoyo:<Jun> What’s that stain on your skirt? And why is your uniform and hair so ruffled?

Aeris:<Yurika> Mishap in the kitchen?

Kero:<Minato, sniffing> Isn’t that the cologne you gave Akito for his birthday?

Sakura: Enough already!

>Admiral Munetake spoke up.
>“We have been currently issued to take out a new form of Jovian battleship that has been sighted
>heading towards Earth. We are to seek and destroy it,” he said.

Syaoran:<Jovian> You sunk my battleship!

>“Right, Minato set a course for that battleship,” Yurika said.
>“Yes captain,” replied Minato.
>“We should arrive in 2 days,” said Ruri.

Sakura: What? How far off is this ship?

>“Right,” replied Yurika
>Elsewhere.
>Yui walked into a small room with a computer desk, and a woman sitting at it. She was Erina Wan, ship’s
>helmswoman, and former secretary for Nergal. Nergal being the company that finances and directs the
>actions of the Nadesico.

All: NO?! REALLY?!

Tomoyo: Nadesico: A New Ally! The fanfic that DARES to state the obvious!

>She was about 25 years old and had short black hair.
>“Hello Yui,” she said.
>“Hello Erina,” replied Yui.

Kero:<Seinfeld> Hello… Newman.

>“So have you met him yet?” Erina asked.
>“Yes, I have many plans for Mr. Tenkawa,” she remarked with a grin.

Aeris: So do Yurika, Megumi and Ryoko. What’s your point?

>Copyright: All characters (excluding Yui), terms, and settings are copyright of Kia Asamiya, and any
>other respective parties. The story itself is mine, as well as the character Yui. Both I have created myself.

Syaoran: And you can keep them both.

Sakura: Whew… Another fanfic bites the dust.

Kero: Thank God! I mean, what the hell was the point of this fanfic? Yui is not only one of the most obnoxious ACCs we’ve encountered, but one of the most pointless. Even the other characters don’t like her, plus she’s a spectacularly incompetent and uninformed.

Tomoyo: But Yui’s stupidity is mostly an excuse for the author to pad the fic with all kinds of information that we already know!

Aeris: The ending suggests Yui is some kind of spy, yet she’s even less subtle than Heero Yuy when he first showed up in Relena’s class. She does everything possible to make herself suspicious.

Syaoran: I’m just glad it’s over. Come on. Let’s get out of here.

“Well, guys…” said Aeris as she headed to the escape pod Eriol had sent up. She turned to face Sakura and the others. “I guess this is good-bye for now.” She smiled. “Well, at least it’s not a crate of hamdingers.”

“Too bad we can’t come too,” said Kero.

“Yeah, but what can you do?” Tomoyo asked.

Aeris smiled and wiped a tear from her eye. “I wish you could all come back with me,” she said. “But I’ll keep trying to find a way to get you guys down.”

Sakura stepped up and handed Aeris a basket filled with living plushies. “A little going away present,” she said with a smile.

Aeris plucked a plushie of herself out of the basket. It giggled and smiled cutely in her hands.

“Thanks, guys,” she said. And finally she turned and stepped into the escape pod. She turned towards them one last time. “Well, guys… It’s been fun. See you back on the ground.”

And then the doors closed and the escape pod was released. Sakura and the others were silent for a moment.

“I guess that’s it…” said Syaoran.

“Yeah…” said Meiling.

More silence. “Come on, guys,” said Sakura. “I guess we have to get back to work.”

DEEP 13

Eriol scowled slightly at the monitors showing the decent of Aeris’ escape pod. “One gone, but I still have four left,” he said under his breath. “You may think you’ve beaten me, Gainsborough, but you’ve only saved yourself and only for now. Soon I will have a victory so complete that you’ll wish that you were still on that puny satellite at the mercy of my whims…” And then he turned and strode from the room.

“He’s talking to himself again,” said Ruby Moon.

“That’s always a bad sign,” Spinel Sun replied with one eyebrow cocked.

Ruby Moon shrugged. “Well, let’s hope he snaps out of it soon,” she said as she leaned over and gave the button a smack.

THE REAL END OF SEASON FOUR

(Feel free to hum ‘Aeris’ Theme’ as the credits roll.)

Well, again I’ve taken waaaaaayyy longer with an MSTing than I had ever expected. Sorry ‘bout that.

I had always intended to have Aeris leave at the end of season four. As much as I enjoyed this experiment, I have to say it’ll be a lot easier to so back to just Sakura and Co. on the satellite.

Also in Season Five, I hope to feature more CCS and CLAMP themed material, which has been lacking from season four, as well as the first appearance of an Eyrie Unlimited fanfic.

Until next time,

CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

Season One:

1) The Brain From Planet Arous-A Ranma ½ Fic By Ryoucilo

2) The Mike Rhea Anthology-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea

(Loves Me, Loves Me Not/ Akane Gets Drained/ Konatsu’s First Kiss)

3) Neon Ranma Evangelion-A Ranma ½ /Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By Khyron Kingkiller

4) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 1)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy

5) Stolen-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou

6) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 2)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy

7) The True Power Of Love-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By poshul

8) Marco Polo-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou

9) Madison’s Mystery Crush-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Chocolat*

10) Is It Reality Or Just A Trick?-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker

Season Two:

11) The Next Generation-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By JimAndZazu

12) Caught In The Act-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Second Sailor Destiny

13) The Shadow Leaders-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker

14) Shinji’s Alter-Ego-A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By John82

15) Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla-A Sailor Moon Fic By Flashman (Christian A. Rogers)

16) Temples, Captors And Knights (Part 1)-A Card Captor Sakura/Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By Syaoran’s Lovertoy

17) No Need For CardCaptors-A Tenchi Muyo/Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Christina Horton

18) Temples, Captors And Knights (Part 2)-A Card Captor Sakura/Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By Syaoran’s Lovertoy

19) Mother, May I [Take Over The World]-A Pokemon Fic By Mallet Boy

20) Syaoran: Romeo… Not Really-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By Golden Eyed Dragon

Season Three:

21) Harry Potter And the Pantie Raiders-A Harry Potter Fic By Ice Blue X

22) The Unforgettable Promise-A Love Hina Fic By KenshinRC

23) To Find My Dad And Have A Family-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By MoshiMoshiQueen

24) Revolutionary Girl Asuka-A Neon Genesis Evangelion/Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By Joyce K. Wakabayashi

25) A Dream Come True-A CardCaptor Sakura Fic By Crystalina Rhapsody Draco

26) The Only Constant-A Star Trek: The Next Generation Fic By Stephen Ratliff

27) The Lionel Dark Anthology-Card Captor Sakura(CardCaptors)/Lord Of The Rings Fics By Lionel Dark

(Signs That Say You’re Like Lionel Dark/ More Signs The You’re Like Elle/ The Scythe Carrier)

28) The Ranma ½ Cast Does CCS-A Ranma ½/CardCaptor Sakura Fic By Matthew Cline

29) Megamon X-A Pokemon/Megaman X Fic By Brock Shale

30) Hotaru Goes To Hogwarts-A Sailor Moon/Harry Potter Fic By Saturn Angels

Season Four:

31) The Bubblehead, The Jerk And The High School-A Sailor Moon/Gundam Wing Fic By Jayde Summers

(w/ short True Search-A Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By SparkleOfEnergyHeidi)

32) Find You Again-A Vision Of Escaflowne Fic By winged angel

33) The XXX Files-A Shoujo Kakumei Utena Fic By Reanna R. King

34) First Release-A CardCaptor Sakura/Ranma ½ Fic By Wishbringer

35) Bubblegum Card-Ep. 3.1415-A Bubblegum Crisis/X-Men Fic By Kris Overstreet

36) The Black Hole-A Pokemon Fic By Dr. Thinker

37) If You Only Knew-An Angelic Layer Fic By LRPLI Little Rabbit

(w/ short Teaching Aeris-A Final Fantasy VII Fic By Sirius Dogstar)

38) Asuka Vs. Godzilla-A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By Austin Covello

39) Sakura’s Story-A Street Fighter Alpha Fic By RanmaSolo1

40) Nadesico: A New Ally-A Martian Successor Nadesico Fic By Genro

Deep Fried SPAM:

1) Why Not Make A Little Money While Surfing The Net

2) Now Offering For Your “Sensitive” Delight… New And Improved!

3) Why RPGs Should Be Severely Censored And Devoid Of Character Development

Specials:

-Christmas Special-Under The Mistletoe/Tsubasa Gets What He Deserves-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea

-Summaries Of Suffering Vol. 1-A CCST3K Spin-off By Ciircee and Chelle-Sama

-Summaries Of Suffering Vol. 2-A CCST3K Spin-off By Ciircee and Chelle-Sama

-X-01: The Beginning-A Manga Translation By Tonghyun “Vajra” Kim and Edited By Iain Sinclair (MSTed with April Hamilton)

Other MSTings:

Totally Spies Theater 3000:

Season One:

1) What If Meowth Was A Girl?-A Pokemon Fic By Dr. Thinker

2) Sailor Trigger-A Sailor Moon/Chrono Trigger Fic By Sailor Koban

(w/ short BB Hood’s Rampage-A DarkStalkers Fic By FlamingSmileyFace)

3) Believe-A Street Fighter Fic By Blackjack Gabianni

4) Beverly Hills Zombie-A Totally Spies Fic By A Psychedelic Leviathan and The Fighting Jesus

5) Nadesico Needs Cooks!-A Martian Successor Nadesico Fic By Tokyo Chrunching Mike

The CCST3K Magical MSTery Mini-Series Collection:

Li Clan Chronicles:

1) Obsession (Part 1)-A CardCaptor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Second Sailor Destiny

Dead Or Alive: Xtreme Fanfic MSTing:

1) Megaman Legends Trilogy-A Megaman Legends/Misadventures of Tron Bonne Fic By Ian Jenkins

>“Ready the gravity blast cannon,” said Yurkia with a demanding voice.
>“Aye, Aye captain,” replied Minato

Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations

reserved.

Keep Circulating The Fanfics....